Sometimes we get lost in the day-to-day grind for several days or even weeks on end.
Before we know it we 'forget' to find time to relax and connect with our partner.
I’m not going to lie, it has happened to us.
My husband and I had all the time in the world when we both lived Rotterdam, the Netherlands (my husband worked there part-time and traveled to his Canadian home every 4 weeks). My stepsons didn't become a huge part of my life until I moved to Canada in the spring of 2013.
Such a big move brings on a lot of excitement and uncertainty on its own. Let alone adding an 'instant' family with two stepsons who are around all the time when my husband is home.
To say that our life is molded around the kids is pretty obvious. The days when we could walk to a restaurant in downtown Rotterdam and have a glass of wine are mostly gone. Now our time is filled with after school activities, cooking dinner, homework and getting them to bed just before we pass out.
Over the years I’ve always made a point to SAY we need to make time for each other. But, to be fair, this hasn’t happened enough.
I haven’t followed through because I felt guilty.
Matthew has 50/50 joint custody and there was no way I would be the reason for keeping him away from his kids even more. Over the years Matthew always assured me that it’s okay, we can plan more getaways or hire a babysitter for the evening. Uhuh, I always nod in agreement and then... well, do nothing.
Because I still felt guilty.
Then, out of the blue, Matthew’s reliable work schedule (4 weeks on, 4 weeks off) came to a grinding halt.
All panic aside, there is always a positive to a negative.
Suddenly we were faced with time together without kids. And by honoring his original access schedule the kids went back to mom's house on the day Matthew was supposed to leave for work.
The day came for us to pack bags and bags of clothing and kids stuff, drive the kids to mom's house and leave. But this time, instead of dropping Matthew off at the airport, he stayed home. I got a little taste of how things used to be. Granted, we can’t walk to a lively downtown night scene anymore as this doesn't exist where we live, but we didn't have to think about the kids and their schedules either.
Oooooh, how I love the taste of a little bit of FREEDOM!
Don't get me wrong, I missed the boys. It was odd coming home to a clean, quiet home, still be with Matthew but not the kids. There's no doubt in my mind that I will never trade being a stepmom and my stepfamily for this ‘freedom’!
But I'm going to admit, without feeling guilty, it was nice. Plans were made at a moment’s notice, something we were unable to do for years and I found a charming downtown heritage home on AirBnB in Nelson, BC! For 3 days we explored Nelson, just Matthew and I (+ way too much rain) and really overpriced cocktails. Anyone ever tried a sidecar? No? WHAT?! Do it. Now!
This trip resulted in a lot of ‘us time’ and it was great to reconnect over dinner with a glass of wine or overpriced cocktail and wrap up the night at a bar with amazing live music! Have I ever told you how much I love Nelson's scene?
The unplanned work schedule change opened my eyes to the importance of one-on-one time with my husband. From now on I’m not just going to SAY we need to make more time for each other, I’m actually going to MAKE IT HAPPEN and not feel guilty!
What do you love to do with your guy without the kids? Share in the comments below! I can always use new and unique ideas. I also shared a few our date nights here!